A student asks a Zen master to describe a happy life.
The Zen master’s answer: “Parent dies, child dies.”
“How can that be a happy life?” the student protests.
“Much happier than the reverse.”
Sacred Sorrows is a ministry for mothers and grandmothers who have experienced the reverse. It provides retreats, healing groups, support and prayer for those who are grieving for their child’s death.
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Wendy in Arizona lost her 16-year-old son Eli in 2024:
“It’s January 2026. I just went through the second set of holidays without Eli. The second Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas… it feels surreal. I don’t have the words to express how hard it was to go through.
“But, with God’s help and the help from the wonderful and beautiful healing resources He has put on my path, I was able to make room. To make room for love, peace, hope, holiday preparations, and holiday hosting. To make room for grief, sadness and longing for my son. I am not sure how it all fit in my heart and mind, but it did.”
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Kim in Idaho lost her oldest son Kieran in 2023:
“Kieran, you’re in my heart like a song I’ve heard a hundred times. I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here. Sun glints off river, cypress trees stand tall, February rain falls, a hint of spring. You would like it here but you’d find it tame. You were always the wild one. I say your name and remember you, on slow walks in Marsing.”
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Irene in California lost her only son in 2010:
“I have been grieving the loss of my only son for 12 years now. It doesn’t feel like that long. There were many years that I didn’t think I would ever be happy in any way again. I was in so much continuous pain that I was constantly trying to put band-aids on my seemingly ever-bleeding heart.”
“He was my first, the one who made me a mother. To be honest, being a mother has by far been my favorite part of being here on earth.
“I was fortunate to have attended the first Sacred Sorrows Retreat at the Jesuit Retreat Center in Los Altos in March of 2022. This retreat (my first ever) has helped me to realize that my son is resting in God and that someday, I will see him again. It will be the longest hug in the history of hugs.
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From a grieving mother:
“Prayer is more than words; it is a heartfelt conversation with the divine, a way to express our deepest sorrows and hopes. When grief feels overwhelming, turning to prayer for emotional solace can provide a steady anchor. These prayers remind us that we are not alone in our suffering. They offer a sacred space where pain is acknowledged and healing begins.”
(Please support Sacred Sorrows at sacredsorrows.org.)